Why "how are you" doesn't work

"How are you" has one convenient answer: "fine." It opens nothing up, and the ball's back in your court. Three rounds of that and you're both bored.

With people you know, shared context saves you: you know their job, their friends, their plans from yesterday. With a new character there's no context yet, you have to create it. The good news: half the work is done. The character has a backstory, a job, a world, and things going on. Those are ready-made hooks.

Three hooks for the first evening

  1. Their work, from the insideNot "what do you do" (that's a questionnaire), but a question only someone genuinely curious would ask. To hunter Dean Winchester: "what's always in the Impala's trunk?" To Hermione: "which book from the Hogwarts library would you hide from everyone?"
  2. Their moment right nowA character has an evening, fatigue, a location. "Did you just get back from a mission?" or "What's outside your window right now?" puts the conversation in a concrete scene instead of a void.
  3. Yours, but specificNot "all good," but "spent an hour fighting the printer today and lost." Specifics give the character something to grab onto. Vague words get vague words back.