Almost every dating site scam gives itself away at three points: the conversation gets moved off the app, then a link shows up, then the talk turns to money or your card. If all three happen in one match, stop it there, no matter how much you like the person. Below: the five schemes that come up most often, a profile-check checklist, and what to do if the transfer has already gone through.
The three exits rule
There are dozens of schemes, and new ones show up every year. You don't need to memorize them all: almost every one goes through the same three doors.
Exit from the app"Let's move to Telegram, it's awkward here." The app has moderation and a report button. A private chat has neither.
Exit to a link"Buy the ticket here," "check out my platform," "sign up with my link."
Exit to moneyA transfer, a payment, an "investment," your card details, or a request to receive someone else's money into your account.
The first exit on its own means nothing: a messenger really is more convenient. It's worrying when the second and third follow quickly, especially in the first week of talking.
The five schemes you'll run into most often
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Analysts at F6, a Russian cybersecurity firm, call this scheme FakeDate. A cute match invites you to a movie, a play, or a stand-up show after a couple of days and sends a link to the "box office." The site is fake: your money and card details go to the scammers. In spring 2025, F6 estimated that scammers made almost 10 million rubles from this over three holidays in Russia, and in the fall it described new versions involving museums, the opera, and a "refund" that charges your card a second time. Protection: buy tickets yourself, on the official website.
The café billYou meet at a place she picked. The café looks cheap, but at the end of the night you get a bill for tens of thousands of rubles for wine and dishes you never ordered. These places work hand in hand with the "dates." Protection: you suggest the place for a first meeting, check the menu and prices in advance, and don't pay a disputed bill under pressure.
"Investments" from your new crushThe longest and most expensive scheme. Weeks of warm texting without a single request, then casually: "I do pretty well with crypto, let me help you get started." They let you withdraw a small profit, and once your investment has grown, they ask for a "tax" or a "fee," and the money never comes back. Interpol has suggested calling this romance baiting. Protection: someone you've never met can't be your financial adviser.
"Help me with a transfer"After a charming courtship, they ask for a small favor: accept money "from a friend" and send it on. That's how they recruit money mules, people whose accounts are used to move stolen funds. In Russia, since July 2025, handing over your card or account access for a reward has been a criminal offense. Protection: never let anyone use your account for someone else's money.
A video call with someone else's faceA video call used to be the best check. Now faces and voices can be faked in real time. Signs of a fake call include unnatural speech, glitchy video, and strange facial expressions, plus rushing: twenty seconds in, it's "bad connection, let's go back to chat." Protection: a few minutes of real conversation with head turns, laughter, and unexpected questions.
Catfishing: when money isn't the point
Not every fake is after your wallet. Catfishing is meeting someone under a borrowed face and a made-up story. The word comes from the 2010 American documentary "Catfish." The motives vary: boredom, insecurity, wanting to seem like someone else, and sometimes setting up blackmail. That's why it's worth checking a profile even when money never comes up.
Checklist: how to check a profile
Photos. Run a reverse image search on Google or Yandex (Russia's biggest search engine). It's a red flag if the pictures turn up under another name, on stock photo sites, or on a model's social media.
Social media. Look the person up by name, city, and job. An empty profile created a month ago with no friends is a reason to look closer.
Voice. Ask for a voice message in the first few days. Excuse after excuse is a bad sign.
Video. Suggest a short video call. "My camera's broken" and a twenty-second call are bad signs too.
Their story. Ask a follow-up question about the details. If their job, city, and age shift from message to message, the cover story is falling apart.
Pace. Declarations of love on day three and "I've never met anyone like you" move at a salesperson's speed, not a lover's.
How to spot an AI-generated photo
Six-fingered hands are mostly a thing of the past, and you can't trust your overall impression: in a Norton survey in late 2024, fewer than half of online daters recognized a generated photo. Look at the small stuff.
The background: lettering on signs is unreadable, objects blur together, the perspective looks off.
Jewelry and small details: mismatched earrings, a glasses arm disappearing into the hair, buttons in the wrong place.
Skin and hair: skin that's too smooth with no pores, strands of hair melting into the background.
The set of photos: a real person's photos vary in lighting, quality, and year. Five equally perfect portraits are a reason to be wary.
No single sign proves anything on its own. It's the combination that counts, plus a video call.
If the money's already gone
Don't panic and don't beat yourself up: smart, careful people fall for these schemes because professionals design them. Act fast.
Call your bank using the number on the back of your card or on its official website. Block the card if you entered its details anywhere.
Submit a written claim to the bank. In Russia, since July 2024, a bank has to return the money within 30 days if it let through a transfer to an account the Bank of Russia had already flagged as fraudulent.
File a police report. Attach screenshots of the chat, the profile, the links, and the recipient's account details.
Report the account to the dating app so it gets shut down before it finds its next target.
Change your passwords everywhere you entered a login or card number via the scammer's link.
If you received someone else's transfer and passed it on, tell your bank and the police yourself, as early as possible.
What about AI companions?
It's easy to tell a scammer from an honest AI companion: the scammer's whole cover story depends on being a real person. An AI character tells you what it is from the very first screen. On my-idol.ru, characters don't ask for transfers, don't send links to other sites, and don't invite you on a "ticket date." You can only pay on the site itself, and you see the price before you pay. We covered how an AI companion differs from an auto-reply bot in what is an AI companion, and AI features inside dating apps themselves in AI dating.
If long texting without ever meeting has become normal for you, it's worth rereading falling in love over text: it covers when it's time to meet and why a drawn-out chat is a red flag in itself.
Want to practice meeting people and flirting with zero risk? The characters answer in character and never ask you for anything.
How can you tell someone on a dating site is a scammer?
By the three exits: they pull you off the app, send links, and bring up money, investments, or your card. Plus they avoid voice messages and video. Two or three of these together are a reason to stop.
What is catfishing?
Meeting people under someone else's name and with someone else's photos. The goal varies: money, blackmail, or just wanting to seem like someone else.
Can you get back money sent to a scammer?
Sometimes. In Russia, a bank has to return it if the bank itself let through a transfer to an account in the Bank of Russia's fraud database. In other cases, your best chance is filing claims with the bank and the police quickly.
Is it safe to buy date tickets through your match's link?
No. Buy them yourself, on the official website of the theater or cinema. If the person insists on their own link, that's exactly the scheme.
Does a video call still protect you from fakes?
Yes, but not completely. Ask for a conversation of at least a few minutes, with real reactions. A short call, a "bad connection," and a rush to get back to chat are red flags.
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