Actions matter more than words

Guys talk about feelings directly less often, but they're happy to show them through actions. A compliment or a smiley on its own doesn't mean much. What does: is he spending time and energy on you when he could just not? Is things moving forward, from texting to meeting, from one date to the next?

Quiz: does he like me?

  1. Has he texted you first with no practical reason, just because?
  2. Has he brought up something you told him a few days earlier?
  3. Has he asked you out himself and named a day?
  4. Has he done something for you without being asked: looked something up, fixed something, given you a ride?
  5. When plans fell through, did he suggest another day himself?
  6. In a group, does he talk to you more than to everyone else?
  7. Does he share his mood, not just news?
  8. Are "we" and "together" showing up in what he says?
0 of 8 answered

In person: what to watch for

  • He looks for reasons to be near you: comes over to your table, sits across from you, hangs around after everyone leaves.
  • He teases you, kindly, and more than he teases others. Lots of guys flirt this way when they're too shy to give a compliment.
  • He takes care of little things: gives you his jacket, makes sure you got home, remembers you don't eat onions.
  • He changes around you: gets louder and funnier, or the opposite, quieter and clumsier.
  • He has your back: steps in when someone talks over you and doesn't let his friends give you a hard time.

Over text: short replies don't mean he doesn't care

Lots of guys text in short bursts: "ok," "yep," "down." That's a style, not a signal. Watch for other things: does he answer your questions with his own, does he keep the conversation going when the topic seems done, does he send things on his own, a meme, a photo, a link with "you'll love this"?

A good sign is when texting turns into voice messages or calls. A great one is when texting turns into a date. If he's gone quiet and you want to start the conversation yourself, check out how to start texting a guy.

When the signs mislead you

  • False alarm: he doesn't like your photos. Plenty of people never hit like at all.
  • False alarm: he doesn't text every day. Some people just aren't into texting and would rather meet up.
  • False hope: he replies fast and with humor. He might text all his friends that way.
  • False hope: he tells you about his problems. Sometimes you're just a good listener to him. Check whether you've ended up in the friend zone.
  • False hope: he texts, then vanishes for a week, then texts again. That's not mysterious, it's unsteady interest.

If he's over thirty

With age, the signals get simpler. An older man is less likely to play "guess what I'm thinking": if he's interested, he'll suggest meeting up and make time for it. If after a month of talking nothing's happening except texting, there's probably no serious interest, no matter how many warm messages you get.

Where the signs run out

Neither a quiz nor a list knows what's in his head. He might be into you but busy, interested but not ready for a relationship. The only way to know for sure is to ask or make a move yourself. It sounds scary, but these days a girl who asks a guy out first doesn't surprise anyone.

Where to learn to read guys

On my-idol.ru there are characters with all kinds of styles: one who hides tenderness behind teasing, a quiet neighbor, a bodyguard who's been in love for ages but won't say it. Chatting with them is a low-stakes way to get used to the idea that "ok" doesn't always mean "leave me alone," and to rehearse your first bold line.

Pick a character who hides his feelings and try to figure him out.

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