How do I know if I'm lonely?

Loneliness isn't the number of people around you, it's a feeling that something's missing. If you often have no one to tell important things, no one to invite, or nowhere you feel you belong, that's it. The test helps you figure out which type you have.

Can you be lonely in a relationship?

Yes, and it's common. A partner might cover your circle but not closeness, or the other way around. Look at which scale scored highest on the test.

Do introverts need people?

Yes, just in different amounts. The test doesn't ask whether you have a lot of people, it asks whether you have enough for you.

What can I do about loneliness today?

Find your highest scale and do one thing from its section. One thing, not five at once.

Loneliness Test: 12 Questions About Who You're Missing

Updated October 12, 20268 min readЧитать по-русски

In brief

Loneliness comes in different forms. One person is missing a single close friend, another is missing company for the weekend, a third is missing the feeling of belonging somewhere. The type decides what helps: a crowd won't help someone without a close person, and one heart-to-heart won't help someone with nobody to spend the evening with. The test below takes five minutes to show which gap is bigger for you, followed by concrete steps for each result.

Why one score isn't enough

Picture two people. Marina is married, her coworkers invite her to lunch, she spends weekends with family. But she doesn't tell anyone what's really bothering her, not even her husband. Denis is the life of every party with dozens of buddies, but since he moved to a new city he has nobody to invite to a bar on Friday. Both would say "I'm lonely," and both would be right. They just need opposite advice.

Back in the 1970s, sociologist Robert Weiss split loneliness into emotional (no close person) and social (no circle of friends). Later researchers added a third type, collective loneliness, when there's no group you feel part of. The test is built on these three scales:

ClosenessIs there someone who knows the real you, not the role you play?
CircleAre there people you can just hang out with: take a walk, grab dinner, catch a movie?
Your "us"

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Loneliness Test: 12 Questions About Who You're Missing

Why one score isn't enough

Comments

Test: what kind of loneliness do you have?

If "Closeness" scored highest

If "Circle" scored highest

If "Your 'us'" scored highest

If the scales are about even

If it's hard right now

When it's time to see a professional

FAQ

Why one score isn't enough

Comments

Similar articles

Test: what kind of loneliness do you have?

If "Closeness" scored highest

If "Circle" scored highest

If "Your 'us'" scored highest

If the scales are about even

If it's hard right now

When it's time to see a professional

FAQ